I often contemplate now that I have had children how I as one person can help be a positive change in this world they call home. I recycle, I even went so far as to compost my poo, but it still felt falling short. This trip to Milton brought me awareness and back to love. It was the end of a beautiful day of Navarre Beach combing. Adrie was overly tired and crying about anything and all things while the rest of the family were ready for sleep. I called her over to me in bed trying to remember my love for her instead of annoyance and want of sleep. She crawled in under the covers and laid her head in the crook of my arm and chest, as she had done so many times as a baby. I began to sing to her the lullaby my mother sang to me. Before too long my other arm held Daya.
There we lay with Jacob to the left all huddled in each others warmth, breath, love and the song of my mother. My heart filled with abounding love and I was brought back to when they both were babes and I held them just like this and sang to them. The curves of my heart lifted in smile, the tension in my brow released and I was filled with love. It was an unconditional, fulfilling, abundant love.
The warmth in my chest expanded and brought visions o f me as a babe in my mother's arms wrapped in her love for me just like my love for my girls and the love I felt EXPANDED. Next a vision of my mother as a babe with my grandmother Thelda holding her, rocking her; love pouring from her chest to my infant mother. What followed was then a vision of my great grandmother Minerva who was holding my grandmother as a babe. Even though I have heard stories of my grandma being neglected, I still could plainly see her being wrapped in love; abundant love as a babe held with such care!
That was as far as I could go based on names I know but the feeling was infinite and divine. This vision ended in the Earth; with all of us being held in love by Her. For if, which I know in my soul is true, the Earth could feel, I know she would hold and does hold us all in the same embrace as our mother's held us and as we hold our children. Her love is also abundant, always around. Be it in the caress of the wind on my face at Tybee, the dragonfly that landed on Daya in New Bern, or the crystal blue waters that held my body in Navarre; it is abundant unconditional love, ever available!
What I also know is that if you don't have this love for self or your Mother is gone or you never received it as a child it is always available in moments of loving presence, always.