What a wondrous weird city full of so much life, music and play. Austin offers many ways to explore the rhythm of music and dance found within all us, pulsating beneath our skin just waiting for opportunity of expression. It also offers many shapes, colors, and combinations of what makes us all uniquely "us" and the acceptance of such that makes us human. Austin is a child's' playground!
When I am quiet and actually present in my life I can get lost in watching my children play; I did just that in Austin. The wonder, the beauty, the remarkable creativity to play like a child. When they were toddlers it was easy to play with Daya and Adrie. As they have aged it has become harder.
After much reflection, I think it is because when they were young I directed the play, mostly educational, "What's the cow say?" Now that they are older and so uninhibited, so fearless, their play is creative and intimidating to me.
Have I forgotten how to play?
Have I forgotten how to feel all the wonder of the world around me and completely submerge myself in it?
Yes, somewhere along the lines I got caught up in thoughts over sensations and to-do lists over observing the wonder of the world around me. I think it became hard to play because I forgot how to accept me unconditionally! To truly play like a child is to be vulnerable to the world around you.
In Austin I made an intention "to play again!" Not forced play but total abandon wild play, the way the girls do. Riddled with self doubt and worry the first few attempts seemed forced. What I learned was if I simply focused on sensations, the feel of the water on my skin as I swam like a mermaid in the pool or the bright wonder in Adrie's eyes as I brought her the magic seaweed potion...play became life. There was no separation! Austin became the playground for my senses to feel and live as children do.