I am accustomed to, at times, only see the less than; known for my critical eye by many in my immediate family. This can at times be a blessing for instance catching a critically low-pressured tire, others overlooked. Mostly I feel and see it as a curse. I am ever the critic of all the ins and outs of the people, places and things in my life! I am working on this hence the post.
I recently found myself caught in this viscous cycle when it came to dear 47-year-old Loraine (our Airstream). Following a heavy rain, Loraine took on copious amounts of water amidst other issues following a 9,000-mile journey. I lost my grounding and found myself floating in a sea of critical thoughts. As my mind and physical body labored over fixing her, I became aware of my lack of gratitude and I attempted to meet those thoughts with thanks. What unfolded in my head was the following letter:
Dear Loraine,
My spirit was awakened when I became ill and the awareness of my soul remembered brought fear of the unknown but the courage to no longer deny what holds true for me (connectedness, love, presence, nature). Here I was with this truth calling and needing a vehicle, literally, to explore these truths. Loraine, you were that vehicle. You have granted me passage so that my feet could dance in the cold waters of the Snake River until numb, witness the sheer magic of child meeting Earth, shake free of layers of ego that blocked my love, and stop time as we know it savoring each breath with beautiful purpose.
Thank you dearest Loraine for being the home I never knew I wanted but always needed!
Love Always,
Jeani